Vice President of Compliance
MKUltra-Foods categorically denies rumours that Smokey Joe Derby, Vice President in charge of “Compliance” (often pictured in low-light situations), is in actuality a mysterious body-double (a double indemnity), and that the real Smokey Joe is a tragic figure who met with an untimely demise in the early days of Liquid Bacon development. Fake news! Smokey Joe is alive and well and able to reassign your Identity on demand! Please see below for details on how you can join the MKUltra-Foods team and have your identity PERMANENTLY REASSIGNED.
Smokey Joe would always say, “keep your friends reassigned and your enemies on a watchlist.” Coming soon: the Compliance Division proprietary “Watchlist!”
View Vice President Smokey-Joe Derby’s Work:
Explore the directory of reassigned identities with the ID Reassignment slideshow, or download a copy of the Reassignment Contract and read all of the finer fine print.
Would you like to have your Identity “Reassigned” by MKUltra-Foods? It’s easier than you think. To begin, use the CONTACT FORM to express interest. You will then be asked to send (by email) a suitable image of your actual face along with three (3) skills that you can offer MKUltra-Foods. Completing the process, you will receive a physical laminated ID card in the mail and your ID reassignment will be added to the online directory!
Interested in joining the MKUltra Foods movement? Fill out the information in the contact form and I will have Dr. Barry Blame reassign your identity for you.
I look forward to hearing from you.